Evan almighty

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I had a rough start today. I just woke up tired and worn..not ready to face any kind of challenges. Sean has been gone on a mission trip to Honduras. It’s where he should be..but I’m tired and it showed.

At church today Pastor Mark showed a clip from Evan Almighty. I’d never seen it..and frankly..this AM I was CRANKY -so I didn’t even care….but as the sermon progressed I found myself wanting to see it. I felt like it was a better choice for Sunday night than Dirty Little Secrets (though I admit to LOVING DLS!).

I finally found it online and was able to settle in. My kids though..not so much. Maggie was tucked in but sang wheels on the bus for an hour. Once I cut Briggs off from Minecraft videos on YouTube..well..he was just antsy.

Finally after an hour I invited Briggs to watch the last 30 min.

Here is where the magic happens.

I explained the back story. Noah was told by God to build the ark. It wasn’t convenient, it didn’t make sense and was kind of a pain in the ass when it came to his career and family. Oh -and his wife felt tired and spent from his journey. He was told to go and build something that would help the world -outside his life.

I probably don’t have to explain the profound impact I felt as Briggs turned to me and said “just like Daddy”. You see..Sean is in Honduras building a school..he is fascinated by the pics Sean has shared via one note. AND..Briggs saw me crying at church this morning- I was tired and used up..ready for a break.

It hasn’t been THAT hard with him gone..but Sean is my soul mate. When he is gone life is different. Life has just been kinda tough. Not soul breaking..but not easy street.

As I watched the family come together at the helm of the ark I remembered that life is not clean, orderly or neat. It is exhausting, awkward, funny, cruel and kind. I only have 3 days until my BFF gets home. Then..shortly after..it’s my turn as I head to Young Life Camp. BUT..I’m reminded that these moments we have been given both off in the world helping others outside our family and close friends and the moments we have together -are what life is.

I’m grateful for the sadness,.it reminds me of the happiness I get too.

God is in charge..thankfully. Even with the sadness or loneliness..we some how a,ways end up in the right place.

I’m still counting the days till he comes home 😉

13.1 -here we come

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Here it is..the morning of Snoqualmie’s Cinco de Mayo’s -my first half marathon. I have trained side by side with my awesome friend Lisa for 16 weeks. How do I feel? Well..I gave myself a pep talk in the shower. Something akin to..think of it as just a run. You have done 11.5-this is just the next step in your training plan. Based on my random heartburn I’m guessing my body hasn’t gotten the memo my brain wrote. Oh..maybe over some stretching.

Ill admit that my biggest annoying thought is not about my time (it is what it is) or that I can do it (I’m pretty confident I can). Honestly it’s how I will look when I’m doing it! I’m up a few pounds (not that much but still) and I’m just not feeling as sassy as last season. Whatever.. seriously-can you even believe I still fall into bouts of that crap!? So I did what I know best. (Serious athletes..please try not to cringe). I clasped on my pearls, put on my fav hat and added lipstick.

What’s a run without pearls anyway?

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The truth about eating farm fresh

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Turns out..I learned a lot with my Paleo experiment. Eating farm fresh foods and skipping (mostly) processed foods had a pretty big impact. I found I had more energy. I found I slept better. My anxiety and blues went away. I also found it takes a lot of planning and work.

Lame

It meant lots of chopping, cooking, packing and cleaning. It meant planning -so lunch and dinner weren’t a surprise.

As with any good experiment – I had a period of good eating -and just to make sure the impact wasn’t a fluke -a period of bad eating. Vacation was well timed 🙂

When we were in Florida I just ate. Not ridiculously -but I didn’t think about Paleo. If a margarita at lunch sounded good -I had one..or two. If I wanted a slice of key lime pie -I had one. It was awesome..yummy..perfect.

But here’s the pain in the rear – as I got to the end of vacation I noticed some big changes. My anxiety crept in. My focus was off -you know..kinda foggy. I started to feel sluggish again.

The way I eat really does impact me -in unexpected profound ways.

That.pisses.me.off

I hate that I can’t just go and grab a subway. I hate that my mood depends on what I eat. All this time I thought my feelings and anxieties came from eating in general. Turns out..a lot of the food i eat physically creates the anxiety. It’s one of the side effects to gluten or dairy or yellow #5..whatever I’m actually sensitive to.

So off to Trader Joes to stock up. Then plan, chop and cook!

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Paleo pooch

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It’s good awesome to be a dog in a paleo family. Yeah, our pup gets bacon fat poured over his dog food…beef bones…scraps of chicken fat…ham drippings. It’s definitely a dogs life.
Turns out it’s great for his coat and skin-perfect since he’s def a itchy scratchy kinda dog. See the benefits of paleo turn out to really be endless :).

What paleo treats have you given your pup?

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There is even a paleo pup blog -cool info..if the bacon grease doesn’t ease Taylor’s skin itch maybe we will try some stuff from here. Or maybe not -grease from the pan is probably as complicated as we will get. 🙂

It’s not all beef and broccoli…the bumpy path to paleo

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So, 30 days of clean living has been a stretch..I have definitely fallen off the wagon here and there.

I’m chalking it up to part of the process. The 30 days is just about giving my body a jump start-a time to learn what my body likes and doesn’t like. Plus it was a good way to start a seemingly overwhelming new way of looking at food. That part has been a success. I have felt amazing. My depression and anxiety is gone, and my energy and creativity is back. Yeah..its been pretty profound. Seriously.

I was starting to doubt that my food choices had anything to do with these changes. I mean it feels a little far fetched that all those changes would really happen because of food. Maybe it all happened because the weather has been better. Maybe I’m sleeping better. Maybe it just happened.

Cue mess up. Yeah..this week has been full of not so awesome choices. Potatoes, a dinner roll and cupcake at our community group’s Easter dinner-NOT paleo. Wine here and there and a Friday night margarita -NOT paleo. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal..I just make the right choices when I eat next. Actually, that is the right way to think -it wasn’t the end of the planet because I ate a non paleo choice. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t pay a price..

1. My cravings came back-hello lemonade and m&m’s!
2. My symptoms are coming back..not completely..but the tired feeling is back. I just want to sleep all daylong.
3. Crossfit and I have not been friends. In fact..I have been totally blowing off my gym time. Thank God for my running partners Susie, Lisa and Kirsty or I wouldn’t have worked out at all!
4. I just sora feel dull -like I don’t want to do much.
5. I’m not funny..this post isn’t clever or witty. It’s probably a little redundant and maybe boring. It’s a great reminder of how I feel though!

How can all this change so quickly with a few food missteps? It did though..and this is a great thing! I can see a blue print to change my symptoms. I haven’t figured out what exactly causes me to feel better -if there is something in particular I have a sensitivity to. I DO know that if I skip processed foods, grains, legumes and dairy I feel profoundly better. Maybe it’s one of these things..or all of them. For now it’s pretty easy to just go back to my farm fresh clean eating ways.

How I feel is a good enough reason for me..pass the chicken thighs 🙂

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Mixing bowl or feed trough?

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My feed trough cracks me up so I thought I’d share..

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This was once a medium mixing bowl. After starting paleo..it is now my lunch bowl. 3 cups of lettuce, a cup or 2 of sliced cherry tomatoes, whatever other veg I have diced up from other meals and 2 chicken thighs cut up..what can I say..it takes up a lot of space.